A Travellerspoint blog

Entries about madness

On the road to Jodhpur

sunny 35 °C

So as the two NZ ladies were ill, I headed off to Jodhpur bus station on my todd. At the bus station I met a fantastic girl called Ice Smith from the Phillipines! (She had a son called Vodka too!)
She was great craic and I found her attitude towards India hilarious, I think she had sheltered in her hotel room the last couple of days to get away from it all. :D She is going to name her daughter Ireland. (After me! ;) )
At the bus stop, along came another lovely lady called Marion from German. So the three of us yapped away until the time came to get the bus. This was actually an hour later than we were told it would be.
Me: ''Is there a 4pm bus?''
Indian: ''Yes yes of course there is.'
but there wasn't!
The bus didn't even come near the station, we had to follow a local fella 5 minutes down a busy main road to get on it.
The three of us were sat down the back. 2 young locals got on in front of us and I could just tell they were going to be
trouble. The whiff of gargle off them!!
The bus 'conductor' came down and told us ladies that we could sit up front, but at the time we thought we would be ok and wanted to avoid the 2 local lads who were up a bit in front of us. However, as soon as the bus started, I knew if I stayed down the back, I would barf everywhere. The roads were so bad, the bus was getting battered around. We were being flung round the back of the bus.
I think the conductor dude was actually looking out for us and advising us to move away from the 2 little guys, so myself and Ice took his advice and moved up to the front. We were only going as far as Jodhpur, but Marion was going to Jaisalmer and had a sleeper bunk booked so stayed down the back in her bunk.

So then on get these two English lads.. Timmy (25, Lazy ;), funny, thinks he looks like Colin Farrell, Farreller is his hero) and Cecil * (22, lovely lad but complete and utter stoner, smoked beedies, chillums and fags noooonnnnn stop all the livelong day, never knew where he was or where we were going etc lol. Nice guy - just ourrrovittt).

So anyways off we go, the bus is barrelling along the road, overtaking large trucks on bends, in the dark, on the side of a mountain - you know - the usual Asian style bus trip! Marion is up in her bunk minding her own business, when the little local lad starts asking her if he can come up to her bunk!! He kept pointing at her and then back to him saying ''me come up? me come up?''... Marion was like 'eh noooo, no no no no no.. HELLPPPPP''. So Cecil the hero/loonatic gentleman comes along and tells yer man to bog off away from his 'wife'. :D Then just when Marion is feeling safe, Cecil asks her if she would like to ''fool around for a while''.. bwaahahahhahhaahha
Marion got sufficiently freaked out up there and came to join me and Ice up front. :D

Meanwhile the bus ride is getting worse. there is no suspension at all and we're all getting thrown around the place like loose spuds in a washing machine. We were just about hitting our heads off the bus ceiling every few minutes.

So we stop for a quick chai stop and when the bus starts again, Cecil notices that his moneybelt with his cash and cards has gone missing!!
So he starts to raise a bit of a fuss about it and search around his bunk and Timmy's bunk and under the seats. He informs the bus conductor and asks everyone around to look under their seats etc.. including the 2 local lads, but it's nowhere to be seen. ( I was sure it would just appear as I thought he was just stoned and had misplaced it).
So 5 minutes later, we're all still looking. Every Indian on the bus has joined in now as they love to have a nosy into what's going on. Cecil begins to think it might have been the Chai Guy who got on the bus when we stopped, but we had bought chai off him and hadn't seen any belts or bags on him. So as more and more fuss is being made, suddenly the little local lad tells Cecil to check his chair area again (the local lad's chair) and lo and behold, there's the wallet down the side of his chair. Hadn't he only gone and whipped it off Cecil when Cecil took out a few bob to pay for Chai.
Now it's as plain as day to all on the bus that this young fecker took it. But fair play to Cecil, he avoided what could have been a big confrontational situation / row and thanked the little loonatic Indian for finding it! Then they end up hugging!! 2 feckin loonatics together. LOL

After this, the bus settled down and on we rattled for another few hours. The 2 UK lads and Marion decide they can't take any more of this bumpy bus full of loonatics and they decide to join me and get off at Jodhpur for the night.
Seeing as how the two NZ girls are not coming to our hostel anymore, I assumed that their room would be going spare in Jodhpur and invited the three lads along with me.
Sop we tuk tuked it to the guest house and it turns out that the two NZ girls had cancelled their room. The owner, while very nice, didn't seem to want to take us in, even though it was midnight, we were quiet and knackered, and he had rooms. It took a bit of sweet talking and apologising from me to get the others into a room there. sheesh! Someone who doesn't want our business in India. Weird!!

  • names have been changed.. :D

Posted by squeakylee 12:08 Archived in India Tagged bus jodhpur madness journey Comments (0)

Jodhpur - The Blue City

This is where the horsey pants originated from...

sunny 34 °C

The three lads, Timmy, Cecil and Marion, had had no intention of going to Jodphur, so they were eager to get train tickets booked to Jaisalmer asap so they could do a camel safari. I decided to follow the crowd and do whatever the gang was doing - although it would mean missing the Flying Fox zip lining. hmmmm

So seeing as how we were stuck in Jodphur for the day (well I was always going to have a stop over there) we all went off to get train tickets and then ramble around.

Cecil, admittedly trying to be nice, went off and bought us 4 local train tickets for 90 rupees a pop. Now there is no way in hell that any foreigner in their right mind, would get a local train ticket for an overnight 7 hour journey to Jaisalmer. If you want to experience the real Indian railway system, get a local ticket. This entitles you to bunk with chickens, goats, 100 men staring at you non stop, wooden benches that hurt your arse and the ever present pungent smell of piss.
Call me a snob, but there was not a hope I was going to avail of Cecil's special offer.
And the others agreed. So we bought sleeper car tickets for the night train. This got us 4 bunks together, a fan,
and a bunk bed each!!)
Cecil then wanted to head off on his own to do his own thing. Timmy says he does that all the time. Just heads off, gets stoned and has mad adventures. Before he left, he peppered me with questions like 'what time is the train later?', and 'what's the name of our hotel?'', I told him the guest house was called 'Pushp guest house' and the train was at 11.45pm, and he said he'd meet us at the train station and off he went to do whatever he does! (Later we found out he had been to an all-men party in the slum where the men got drunk and tried
to wrestle his backpack from him. Then he went to some trance party and met a tattoo artist and got an Om tattoo on his chest! LOLZ)

So Marion, Timmy & I headed off to see Mehrangahr Fort. The fort was awesome and had a very thorough audio headset tour with 33 audio stops! After the first stop, Timmy wanted to stop for a snack so we did.
Then after the 6th stop, Timmy wanted to stop for a quick ghey pink drink so we stopped again. At that rate, as you can imagine, it took us hours to finish the 33 stops.


Afterwards, Timmy refused to walk anywhere else and we had to eat in a nearby restaurant. Don't think Colin wanted to mess up his hair with walking or something. ;)

So after this hectic day, we chilled on the roof of our hotel until our train later on in the evening. So by 10.45, we had to go and there was no sign of Cecil. I left a note on his bag that said 'CECIL - 11.45 JODHPUR TRAIN STATION! Sleeper Car 1'' and off we went. The town was dead, everyone was in bed, the lights were off and there was not a tuk tuk to be seen or had. We walked for about half an hour before getting one. We were getting slightly stressed as no one could answer us as to where the train station was and simultaneously Timmy kept asking people where the tuk tuks where so we were getting two different directions from everyone. I was getting low on patience and just then a tuk tuk came along. Thanks be to jaysus as the train station was milllles away. I had doubts as to whether Cecil would make it to the station on time! But when we got to the station, who should be there, only Cecil! Except he didn't have his bag with him! Doh. :D
He couldn't remember the name of the hotel (lol) so couldn't go back to get his bag.
At this stage it's now 11.37 or something, but luckily the train was delayed! We hurried him out to get a motorbike back to the hotel and laid bets as to whether he'd make it back in time! Just as the train was pulling up, Cecil arrived. 'WAHEY', we all shouted and backs were patted and the word 'legend' bandied about a lot.

We piled on the sleeper train and started to put our stuff in our bunks. Suddenly on jump a load of army lads in full uniform and carry mighty large rifles and big black metal boxes, which they proceeded to put under our bunks! It was so surreal, I felt like I was stoned and hallucinating and not Cecil. But everyone else just acted like this was the norm. The army lads were off to the border of Pakistan.

Anywho, when everybody had sufficiently stashed their arms, we all hit the sack and nodded off. I was managing a bit of kip, when at about 3.30am, as we were just moving off from a station, one of the army guys stood in the door of the train shouting aggressively at someone on the platform. As the train sped up, the army guy shouted again, got more annoyed, glanced quickly under our bunks, shouted at another army guy on the train, then JUMPED OFF THE TRAIN RUNNING AT FULL SPEED!!! Obv to chase whoever or whatever had robbed his stuff or insulted his mum! Who knows - he never got back on again, and I didn't get back asleep again! :D

Upon arrival in Jaisalmer, we were greeted by some nice guys from our hotel, and we all had to wait in the car while Cecil took a dump. LOL yet sighhhhhh. :D

Posted by squeakylee 23:31 Archived in India Tagged train jodhpur madness Comments (0)

Pushkar - part 2

I had booked myself in to make some silver jewellery with a nice silversmith chap called Guru, so Joe came along to watch and maybe make something himself. Guru was a sound fellow and showed us plenty of fancy stones and lots of lovely rings, earrings, necklaces etc that we could make with him. I decided to make a reticulated silver ring, which involved me cutting silver, burning it with a blow torch, cooling it, burning it, poking holes in it with a tweezers and fluffing it up around the edges, oxidising it and then melting copper on to it, before moulding it into a ring shape. Although it looks like something you'd find in a dumpster, or perhaps that a child had made, I still like it. It's pretty cool and definitely different. :D I know my hands look like they need a scrub, but it's actually the end of the Henna tattoo I had.


Afterwards we walked along the ghats and took in the sights. Met a guy called Ramu who tried to sell us grass and camel rides. And camel rides on grass! :) We walked on! :)
Joe had watched my silver making genius in action and then decided to return to Guru the following day and make a ring of his own. It was super. After another afternoon of silvermaking we went back to our hotel rooftop and met up with a lovely young lady called Jenna, from the UK. The 3 of us stayed on our rooftop all day chatting away. Unfortunately during this time, I got a text from my dad to say Johnny - my awesomest guinea pig, had passed away. I was quite upset as I had only been talking about him and showng Joe pictures of him earlier that morning. Gutted! I had really hoped he would have been there to welcome me home in July. :( But he had a great life and lived to a ripe old age of nearly 5. My folks let him have the run of the place in Milltown and he was having great fun nibbling Mick's newspaper and watching Midsomer Murders. RIP Johnny.


I composed myself and we all swapped pet stories on the roof and then decided to get a 'special' lassi in his honour. Weird how special lassis are on the menus everywhere here, but booze and eggs are verboten! :)


Anyways we sipped our disgusting special lassis slowly as they were too vile to knock back. They tasted like grass. However we got a right good buzz off them and spent the evening laughing our heads off. I developed a ten second memory and couldn't remember the end of my sentences or stories as I was still telling them. Ended up tellin the lads a lot of the start of various stories and not being able to finish them! Great craic!
On our way back from walking Jenna back to her hotel, a big pack of wild barking dogs ran at me and Joe in the street! We didn't know what to do and basically froze to the spot... You do not want to get bitten or scratched by a dog in India! They are filthy, flearidden and viscious. eeeek. We were freaked out but as we stood there wondering what the hell to do, the dogs ran straight by us at another stray dog behind us! :D Phewf! That would have been freaky without the effects of a special lassi nevermind with it! then I tried to walk into someone elses gaff thinking it was our hotel. Joe was like -''eh where are ye going''. hhahahhahahahah. Luckily we made it back to our REAL Hotel safely a few minutes later. :D

The next day the 3 of us met up for a sneaky illegal eggy breakfast (breakin all the rules in Pushkar) and then met another young gal, a Canadian named Cathy who wanted to try a special lassi. Soooo off we went again for more food and another hit of the good stuff, but this time we got a juice - which was much nicer if a little aluminous. Quite like a mojito. It wasn't very strong but young Cathy seemed to be quite spaced out by it and asked the waiter what was ''hummus chips & pita salad''. hahhahahahah..

Cathy: 'what is hummus chips and pita salad?''
Waiter: ''hummus? sauce. Chips? eh chips. Pita? pita bread and salad..ehhh salad.'' And he looked at us as if we were all retarded. :D

I was lolling away. Turns out there had not been a comma after the hummus and Cathy had thought he was selling hummus chips. Doesn't seem quite as amusing now, but at the time we were in tears laughing at her spaced face and the look the waiter was giving us. Fun times! I also saw a monkey in the tree nearby but no one else could see it for ages, so naturally I thought I was going bonkers. Until finally 20 minutes later, Jenna saw it too.
On tonight's walk home, a cow ran towards us and we came across a group of kids, aged about 1 to 4, who were gulping mouthfuls of PETROL from a can and then spitting it out onto rubbish that was on fire! WTF?? It was pretty surreal. We didn't know whether we should try to take the petrol off them or run away in case they hated tourists! :0 Another weird evening in India.

Our next day in Pushkar, we went back to the mad restaurant from earlier's tale (see Pushkar part 1) for a few rums. The mental dude recognised me as I came in and high 5'd me so I thought everything was hunky dory. Then as we sat down and were sipping our mugs of rum, he joined us and started to tell the story of this group who were in his place the other night, and how they were drinking, having fun, and then one guy started a fight with him. WTF?? That was the night I was there!! I was thinking to myself - is this for real? Is he telling the story about the night I was there, to me? I thought he had recognised me! :D LOL. Anywho, turns out his version of events was a little different! He told us that Timmy had told him to go F himself! :D LOL. I was trying not to laugh my head off as he told it but I was still a bit freaked out and was wondering if he was waiting for me to pipe up and say I was there? Or did he geniunely not recognise me from that night! (we all look alike apparently. And also I look like Angela Lansbury (my phone cover) ) Then he said that some of them hadn't paid him for their rum, so I stayed quiet! I had paid for my rum!! Turns out Marion had left her ipod there too, and he was yapping on about how he now had a free ipod... I could'nt quite pipe up then either as it would have looked like I wanted a free ipod, and then I'd have to pay up for those who had neglected to pay for their rum! I told the lads to drink up and we got the hell outta there. I asked Tommy 2 to go in and get the ipod for me the next day as we hung out by the pool. He said he would pick it up later.

Posted by squeakylee 04:04 Archived in India Tagged india madness pushkar lassi Comments (0)

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