The Great Muppet Caper

Well it was raining in Varanasi when we arrived. Varanasi is bonkers. It is without a doubt the noisiest, dirtiest and mentalist place in India. (imo of course) After a few quiet days in Orchha, we were straight back into dodging potholes, cow shite, flies, tuk tuks, taxi drivers and cycle rickshaws (the most deadliest of all the rickshaws imo - they have no horns or bells) ...
Our hotel seemed alright, til I found 3 cockroaches under my bed. ewwwwwwwwww. 1 of them was crawling on my blanket. WHY LORD WHY?????
Kat was just as freaked out by cockroaches as me, so we switched rooms. Shudder!

There was no pool in this hotel so our first stop was lunch. Then the rest of the gang were lured to see a family who made hand woven scarves out of real silk. I'd already experienced enough of these hard sell, tug-at-the-heartstrings situations and had no interest or money to buy real silk scarves, (I'd already bought loads in Pushkar), so I didn't want to go. Instead I decided to trundle round the town of Varanasi. The trip so far has been great, but we've been quite sheltered with private buses and fancy hotels and tuk tuks arranged for us, so I wanted to get back into the swing of mad India for a bit. Also I'd heard so many people speak so highly of Varanasi, I was dying to see for myself what they all found so magical. Would this finally be the place where I would witness some real genuine, not money-based, spirituality?? The cynic in me was not convinced. My case was helped when a genuine looking priest approached me and soothed me with his words. I sighed with relief and belief as he promised me he was a real priest and wished me long life, health and love. I relented and let him put a blob of holy dust on my forehead.
Then he put his hand out and said ''money please''.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

No such thing as a free spiritual blessing anywhere in the world so I thought, as I remembered having to also put money in the money basket at mass at home.

Jeff and Maree had joined me on my trundle around Varanasi. We had a hard time bagging a tuk tuk driver to the ghats! For some reason, they all said no to us. Later we discovered they're not allowed down that far. So eventually we got to the ghats and saw all walks of people just hanging around. Old priesty looking dudes were hanging around collecting dosh and there was the usual crowd of cows and women selling bracelets and flowers. (the women were selling stuff, not the cows). So far I wasn't really impressed with the Varanasi ghats. It just looked like a load of steps leading down in to a pretty dirty river.

So after an hour, the three of us had had enough of the real India again. It. Was. Bonkers. Ten times more bonkers and noisy than Delhi or any of those places. So we hopped a tuk tuk to a fancy hotel for an expensive beer (Dublin prices!) and some free nuts. yahoo.

Later in the evening we got cycle rickshaws down to the ghats and Dushyant brought us on a sunset boat ride on the Ganges. The Ghats looked very different at night and the river had a nice blue glow.

We lit tiny candles and flowers, and made a wish on them and sent them off bobbing down the Ganges. We boated up and down the ghats and paused for a while near the cremation ghats, where we saw bodies being burnt.

Varanasi is the holiest of the seven sacred cities in Hinduism. Hindus believe that death at Varanasi brings salvation. It is one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world and the oldest in India. Hindus believe if you die and are cremated in Varanasi, that you escape the cycle of birth and rebirth, so everyone wants to die here and lots of people travel to Varanasi to die. There are lots of old homeless people just hanging around Varanasi. If you're one of the lucky ones, you'll die and be cremated in Varanasi. It was quite moving to see the bodies being burnt. The pyres were surrounded by the dead person's relatives but there was no weeping or tears, only joy that their loved one would be one with God (aka Shiva).
Also weirdly, there was no smell at all. No stench of burning flesh! The group members with medical backgrounds were astounded at this. I thought it was cos maybe the person had been covered with scented oil beforehand.
The flames were hypnotic and I thought this was the most spiritual and moving thing I'd seen in India so far. It was pretty cool.

After this there was a big flashy ceremony on the ghats with 5 priests dancing and shaking offerings such as piles of lit candles (dunno what they're called so here's a pic).

There was lots of chanting to bingy bongy music. The ghats were packed with people praying, chanting and clamouring to see the priests in action. On the river, tons of boats were filled with Indians and tourists all watching the ceremony, praying and taking pictures. We watched the Puja (ceremony) for half an hour. The others thought it was very spiritual. I thought it was cool, but I couldn't help but wonder how the government affords to put on this spectacular stage show every night of the year, while the Varanasi ghats are populated with hundreds of frail, old homeless people. :/

Anywho dinner was in the Brown Bread Bakery - a restaurant that donates some of its profits to a local school. It was a cool joint and there were some auld lads playing Sitar and flute in a little cubby hole behind us.

The dinner took aggggggggggggggggggges though - about 2 hours to arrive. This eased the hunger pains.

I poured this beer below... Disgraceful!! And me an Irishwoman.

The next morning, it was up and atom for a sunrise boat trip again on the Ganges. This was very peaceful and we set more floating candle wishes adrift on the river. We boated up and down again and saw many Indians taking the ''Holy Dip''. Basically they were washing, swimming and splish splashin about in the Ganges. :D The cremations were still going on too. Varanasi is the only place that the body burning can continue 24 hours a day.
Dushyant then invited us to join him dipping his feet in the Holy river. Most of us declined politely. Sandra went for it and had a holy dip.

While she was dipping, we saw a man having a seizure and foaming at the mouth on the ghat nearby. A lady was minding him and turned him on his side. It was a bit freaky.

After this Holy morning, we went back to the Brown Bread bakery for another long breakfast. Then we went to the school that the bakery supported. It was very cute and had children of all ages there. We watched and clapped as Kat (who had been volunteer teaching in India for 2 months) got up in front of the class and engaged all the kids in a rousing version of ''If you're happy and you know it clap your hands''. It was excellent. :D

On our way out of the school, there was a dying puppy in the alleyway which was very distressing. This combined with the dead bodies, dead rats, man seizing, sweltering heat, cow shite and flies everywhere and so much beeping, meant a few of us couldn't take it anymore. I was one of them. I had pretty much gotten used to the stuff everywhere in India by now, but Varanasi was a whole other level and we needed to get out of the stinky alleyways. We headed back to our hotel.

Well it's time to leave India. I have had the best time in India, it's been colourful, dirty, loud, peaceful, bonkers, religious, full of contradictions, a great laugh and an amazing experience.

I've been boating down the backwaters of Kerala,

yogaing, sunset watching and partying in Goa,

impressed at the architecture

and self sufficient slums in Mumbai,

admiring the astounding caves of Ellora,

biking around the amazing ruins in Hampi,

hill climbing and horse riding in the beautiful countryside in Udaipur,

camel riding in the desert in Jaisalmer,

jewellery making, hill climbing and chilling out by the lake in Pushkar,

and temple/fort and palace watching all over India - the most impressive of these being the Taj of course.

I've met loads of lovely people, made some awesome friends and had an absolutely spectacularly joyous time!

I'm sad to leave but looking forward to a change of pace in Nepal.

Namaste! : )

So the next morning it was off on our epic 12 hour bus ride to the Nepali border town of Sunauli. The minute we entered Nepal it was a mosquito fest! We couldn't get over it. Within 100 metres of the border, it became Mosquito maniat! They were everywhere. We quickly smothered ourselves in anti mozzie juice whilest getting our Nepali visa.

There were quite a few differences between India and Nepal almost instantly. The roads were smoother and the countryside was a good bit cleaner. We finally reached our hotel in Lumbini at about 7 or 8pm, just in time for a giant buffet dinner and a humoungous bottle of the Nepali beer - EVEREST!

Te next day we were off to the birthplace of the Buddha. Here's the blurb - ''Siddhartha Gautama, the Lord Buddha, was born in 623 B.C. in the famous gardens of Lumbini, which soon became a place of pilgrimage. Among the pilgrims was the Indian emperor Ashoka, who erected one of his commemorative pillars there. The site is now being developed as a Buddhist pilgrimage centre, where the archaeological remains associated with the birth of the Lord Buddha form a central feature.''
It was a great big lovely garden full of lush green grass, lovely leafy trees, prayer flags everywhere, lots of Buddhists praying and the air was filled with an all round chilled out holy vibe. Now here's something I can get into I thought - Buddhism!

There was a big tree in the gardens around which all the monks were praying. We all gathered around, got our beads blessed and made a voluntary donation. (holiness still costs money even in Buddhism! ) It was a gorgeous day and lots of people and monks were out behind the temple in the grounds, kneeling, chanting and swaying in the breeze. Buddhism has a good vibe I reckoned. It doesn't call for you to believe in all sorts of mad animal-hybrid gods, just calls on you to modify your behaviour and generally be an all-round-good-guy! Or so I thought, until I heard that they believe that Queen Maya Devi gave birth to the Buddha from her armpit!!! LOLOL. Armpit???
Bonkers! It's like those who believe don't want to mention a lady's rude bits or even think about how babies are made. :D

sidenote: The ladies here have a tough time in Nepal. Firstly, no one realllly wants daughters. They all want sons. Girls are regarded as a financial burden whose honour must be protected until they get married. They're pulled out of school first to allow the sons to go to school instead, and in the olden days, during a girls tempestuous time of the month, they were sent outside to the shed for four days!!! Apparently now they just can't cook food for those days. Weird. Harsh Times.
Once again I was reminded of how lucky I am to have been born in a country that's not extremely anti-women and bonkers.

So Buddhism anyways - seems cool. One of the lads on our tour wants to get into Buddhism and was really impressed by today. Another girl on our group was visibly moved and upset when getting her beads blessed. Her father is very sick and I think the spirituality of the place really hit her today.

After we saw the blessed stone that Buddha was born on, we pottered around a bit taking in the atmosphere.

On the way back to the bus there was a whopper fight over parking happening between some locals. Not very Zen!! Then I chatted to a backpacker who obviously hadn't brushed his teeth in days, and we hopped on the bus to make our way to Chitwan National Park. :D

We arrived to the most beautiful setting in Chitwan, a fantastic wooden lodge perched on the bank of a meandering river. The lodge had plenty of lovely huts surrounded by beautiful gardens full of flowers, swings and hammocks. The lodge - Sapana Lodge - even had its own pet elephants!! There were lots of kids playing in the river, some local women carrying baskets of leaves on their heads across a wooden bridge and a big elephant eating grass and leaves by the river bank. BLISS.

This was to be our awesome home for the next few days.

Sapana lodge was run by a gent who had a dream that he would one day own his own guesthouse and be able to give back to his community. In his former job as a guide, he had met a Dutch couple who had listened to his dreams and promised to help them become reality. They asked him how much he needed to set up his own place and then they had to return home. He didn't give it much thought until they contacted him and sent him $10,000 that they had raised for him. They told him he could use it to party or he could use it to make his dreams come true. And he did. He set up Sapana Lodge and hired lots of his local neighbours. What a story eh? Inspiring!! He also has more plans to build a new school nearby. He has saved up some more money and bought a plot of land nearby.
In the bedrooms of the lodge, there was a pamphlet with some information on the lodge and all the staff. Each staff member had their picture on there and a blurb about how long they've been working for the lodge and a bit about themselves. Some of their stories were so cute! One cleaning lady said that she 'loved (her) job and was so greatful to be able to provide fo her family''. It brought a tear to my eye and made me feel like a greedy materialist for always wanting more in my life!!

Anywho we all got a cocktail and sat out on the balcony in the sun, while perusing the Lodge brochure. There were lots of activities to do at Sapana, mostly involving elephants! You could do a jeep safari, jungle trek, bathe an elephant, go for a walk in the nearby villages, put make up on an elephant, go for an elephant safari in the jungle and lots of other stuff. Dushyant and the local jungle guide Sanjay brought us on a tour of the local villages. We met all the neighbours and young children who lived nearby and greeted their goats, chickens, baby ducks, cows and other petting-zoo-type animals. It was ace!

After our village tour we had a fabulous dinner by candlelight on the balcony.

The next morning we all piled into jeeps at 6.30am to go on a jeep safari in the jungle. We were hoping to see rhinos and tigers. I didn't hold out much hope for seeing a tiger, but I was praying for a rhino, even though I knew driving around a wildlife reserve in a convoy of 3 noisy jeeps (one of them rattling loudly as the door was held on by string!) would probably scare most animals away!
And they did. We saw a couple of deer and tons of peacocks. It was mostly a peacock safari. Although this was a great fun ride through the jungle, I was pretty disappointed with not seeing any rhinos.

We returned to the lodge for lunch and I decided to do the elephant safari through the jungle in the afternoon. Maree, Jeff, Ruby and Sandra decided to do the safari too. After a quick nap (I hadn't slept much the night before due to the excitement of going on safari), we bundled into the jeep. ELephant safaris are supposed to be way better than jeep safaris as you can get much closer to the animals. If you're on an elephant, all the rhinos see is an elephant! If you get down and wander about yourself, they will see you and charge straight at ya!

So off we went to the elephant riding station. Jeff and Maree were put on one elephant with a US couple and myself, Ruby and Sandra got our own We had to sit into this square box on top of the elephant, and off we went.

As we lumbered off, we saw how many other people were also heading off on elephants and I began to think we'd never see any wildlife with this many elephants simultaneously trundling about. We plodded into the stream and the elephant next to us did a massive wee in the river, while the elephant on the other side took a big dump in the river! he he. Potty humour. This is the river we were going to go swimming in later!! I made a mental note to politely decline! Anywho, back to the ride, we lumbered through lots of dense lush vegetation and after a while, we lost the other elephants and were on our own in the undergrowth. Our elephant had a bit of an attitude problem I reckon and kept fecking us into the nearby branches. We were getting splattered with white dusty poo and our faces were strewn with cobwebs. Our trainer seemed to be giving our poor elephant a hard time, he kept whacking her on the ear and she kept trumpeting away in annoyance.

We spied some deer on the side in the bushes and then branched off (boom boom) that way. We were prowling around looking for signs of wildlife, (as much as 4 people on a giant elephant can prowl) but weren't seeing many signs of life! Suddenly, our trainer just jumped off the elephant to go for a whizz in the bushes. Our elephant took this opportunity to get herself some tasty leaves from the nearby trees. I tried to pet her a bit but she whacked me with the bunch of leaves in her trunk. he he. So when our guide returned we hup-hupped onwards and emerged onto a big flat open grassy space. I saw 4 elephants ahead staring at what looked like a rhino. ''RHINOOOOOOO '' I said, and shouted and pointed elaborately! And off we raced towards it. Then we spotted another rhino on his own to our left, so headed towards that one. We rocked right up to him as he munched his grass. He wasn't even that bothered by our presence even though we were about 10 feet from him. It was awesome. He looked exactly like that rhino from Ace Ventura Pet Detective. :D

We watched him for a while, took a few more snaps and then mosied onto the next grassy space where we spied 2 more rhinos - a mother and baby. They spotted us and started to run off across the road...

So we gave chase as they disappeared into the bushes.

Our trainer and the other trainers on their elephants had a quick pow-wow together and came up with a plan to surround the rhinos in the bushes. They all took an angle and started to work their way in. I thought cornering a rhino and her baby seemed like a mad thing to do, but what do I know! :D So off we went - all 5 elephants trampled their way into the forest looking to catch the rhinos in the middle. The trainers were hooting and whistling at each other the whole time. When we all met in the middle though, the rhinos had legged it. We all had a chuckle and headed off separately to continue the search. It was gas - the trainers were teasing each other saying ''they're here!!'' every few minutes when they plainly weren't. ho ho ho.

We were delighted to see 2 more rhinos in another spacious clearing a few minutes later. (could have been the same two from earlier) Then we saw one more big rhino too at the very end of the safari. We were chuffed and I was so excited to finally have a successful safari. YAY! We had lost Jeff and Maree earlier so I was hoping they had gotten to see some too. And they had! phew. Smiley faces all round afterwards. We bounded back to the lodge ecstatic and couldn't help boasting to everyone about our rhinocerousy afternoon. A few of them had painted an elephant - which looked cool. And a couple of others had gone on the jungle walk and had seen some wild boars and tiger poo. All in all a great day and an awesome time at Chitwan! RHINOS RULE!

So on the road to Pokhara we saw some mighty impressive scenery and lovely mountainsides and villages. We stopped to take some pictures and also stopped on the side of the road for some super noodles at a local's house.

We played 'hit the bicycle wheel with the stick to keep it moving'' with the kids and headed onto our hotel in Pokhara. This was to be myself and Lindsey's last stop with the G gang.
Our hotel was named Middle path hotel - named after the Buddha's teachings. He was born into a very rich family and decided this was not going to help him reach enlightenment so he gave it all up and decided to live as a poor pauper. But he soon found out that living as a starving homeless man was no better for reaching enlightenment so he decided to recommend living somewhere in the middle with less stuff - hence the middle path.

Dushyant took us on a walk around Pokhara. It's a cool town, with streets packed with shops, restaurants, bars, cafes and travel agents all situated near the lovely Fewa Lake.

The lake is also surrounded by low mountains (hills) and on a clear day in the background, you can see the peaks of the Himalayan Annapurna Range which is spectacular. We couldn't see them today though (didn't see them many days!), as it was very dull and we couldn't see much. Our walk was going rather well until the heavens opened on us. But for some reason we kept walking in the rain. WFT?? I couldn't understand why our group kept walking in the lashing rain, while all the locals were sheltering! :D I had rain gear on, but it turns out my rainjacket isn't exactly jungle rain proof! Why we didn't pop into one of the many bars and restaurants along the way is beyond me!! By the time we got to the Moondance restaurant, everything I was wearing was soaked. As I still hadn't recovered from my cold in Delhi, I was very irritated by this stupid decision to keep walking. Myself and KAt decided to go back to our hotel and get changed. We grumbled about this stupid rain walk all the way back to the gaff. Finally when we changed and returned to the Moondance place, we ordered Greek salads and desserts which were desmegginglicious.

After dinner we all went to Busy Bees, a local bar / disco for a few beverages and some rockin tunes.

The next morning we got up at 4 am to go see the sunrise at Sarangkot. I was not particularly bouncing out the door at 4am but I got up. Only half of the group got up. Kat was sick, Maree was sick, Steve and Jennifer didn't get up, neither did Hugh and Sean, and Sandra was sick. The rest of us bussed it up the hill. Well as the sun rose and the clouds cleared and the Himalayan Annapurna range appeared, our tiredness was forgotten and we became immensely excited. The peaks were popping out in all their majestic glory. WAHEY!
We got the near the top of Sarangkot, stopped shy of all the tourists and watched in awe and wonderment as the sun rose and the glorious snowy peaks appeared. I have never seen anything more awesome in my life!! It was spectacular and I was very moved. I felt very lucky to have been able to see such amazing natural works of art! It was fantastic and I nearly cried my head off.

We stood watching as every second of the sunrise revealed more of the snowy mountain tops and basked the sky in pinks, yellows and purples. Treeeeemendous!

Afterwards Mum (Dushyant) bought us some cinnamon buns and chai and we scoffed them on the hill top before heading for breakfast.

Then we collected some of the others who didn't believe us about the gloriousity of the mountains, until they looked out the window and saw that the peaks were clearly visible peeping up behind the hills round the lake. Then it was off PARAGLIDING!!!! :D Pokhara apparently has the best paragliding in the world! And after the sights we had seen at sunrise, I'd well believe it. We had booked to jump with Fly Nepal. We bailed into the back of a truck and jostled back up the hill past Sarangkot and on to the jump off point.

(I wasn't really too sure what paragliding was when I signed up - I thought it was hanggliding - the one where you hold onto a bar and fly off the mountain. Turns out paragliding is when you strap yourself to a man, who in turn is strapped to a big parachute, then you both run off the side of a mountain and the wind grabs the chute and off you float into the air.)

We watched in excitement and awe, as a few of our gang were strapped into their gear, and onto their pilots and encouraged to run off the mountain. Sam had a rough start. As she ran, she kind of stumbled backwards into the guide and fell onto the ground. She was basically dragged off the mountainside. It was SOOO FUNNY to watch. It didn't look too sore, think she just got a few muddy knees but we were in tears laughing. And also slightly worried about our own take offs. :D

My pilot was a very nice young Frenchman called Vincent. We chatted away and he asked me all about myself and my job and whether my parents minded me not being married yet.. (ahem... )

(sidenote: I think that's why these lads do this job - to pick up chicks. Kat's guide asked her out later, to which she replied a terse 'no'. hahaha - but he was a bit of an oddball. He later found us in the pub and asked to join us, but then was all weird and defensive!)

So anywho, back to Vincent. He asked me if I usually got motion sickness or anything. I said I did a bit (I do - badly) but insisted I'd be grand. We strapped ourselves together and ran off the side of the mountain quite successfully, with no hiccups. It was exhilarating. I think running off the mountain was my favourite part.

Once we took off, we got into our ''seats'', and the view was amazing! We could see so much. It was such a clear day and we could see the Annapurna range right behind us, the beautiful lake and lovely hilly mountains in front of us. We could see lots of villages and fields, the airport, the rest of Pokhara city and bits and bobs for miles around. It was fab! The cool air was rushing past us and the sun was shining down on us. It was pretty spectacular.

So I was feeling grand for these first ten minutes, and then as Vincent decided to go round and round and higher and higher and round and higher and round and higher, I really started to feel like I was going to be sick! It took all my will power and breathing skills to try not to barf and to focus on the scenery. I'm so glad I didn't get the video of the jump as it would have just been of my face going greener and greener.. :D After what felt like another ten minutes of twirling, I honestly thought I couldn't hold it in any longer. :D

I said to yer man (Vincent): ''I'm really sorry but I think I'm going to be sick, which side is best to puke out of?''
Vincent: '' Don't worry, nothing to be sorry about, it happens a lot. Try and watch where I'm going as opposed to the scenery for a minute and I'll straighten us out for a while. You get sick out of this side and I'll try to dodge it. ''
How lovely!!
SCARLEH! and LOL
(I later discovered a few of our gang had been actually sick into bags on the jumps so didn't feel too bad. he he)
So he straightened us out and the nausea receeded and I didn't actually get puke on his shoes! wahey!
We came into land and I helped him put away his stuff and yapped away as others from our group landed around us. The paragliding itself was amazing. Wish I hadn't felt barfy, as I would have liked to have done more acrobatics, but alas my body got the better of me.

Later the gang went to a Tibetan Monastery. I hadn't fully recovered and gave it a miss. They said it was great fun and full of lots of Buddhist kids watching movies and playing football. A lot of them were sent there by their parents who couldn't afford to raise them, and they live their whole lives in this monastery. :/ Once again I felt very lucky to have been born where I was and when I was.

The next day I got up early to say goodbye to the rest of the G Adventures gang and wish them well. They were flying onto Kathmandu for the last few days of the trip. Lindsey and I were staying on in Pokhara. I had decided to join Lindsey on her yoga trek, which was starting on 3rd May. We moved into together and spent a few days chilling, yapping, going for dinner and the odd beer and generally relaxing after the hecticness of moving from place to place non-stop for the past 2 weeks.
It was super to be in such a chilled town with beautiful scenery and tons of good restaurants all serving delicious food. We did a bit of reading, interneting and snoozing.

One of the days we decided to get a practise hike in and we strutted up to the Peace Pagoda which was 1900 metres up. (Pokhara is 790m) We purposely took the long route so we could get a bit of exercise in before the trek. We walked south along the Fewa Lake,

right into the town and down to Devi Falls - a very uninspiring trickle of a waterfall that left us wanting our 20 rupees entry fee back!

So then we did the hard part and trekked up a steep never ending windy road for about 2 hours. We kept taking wrong turns up various stone staircases and had to keep turning back and starting again.

It took us yonks!! But the veiw from the Buddhist Peace Pagoda at the top was great. It was a bit cloudy and hazy and we couldn't see the peaks but the lakes and hill views were good.

The Peace Pagoda had been built there by Buddhist monks from the Japanese Nipponzan Myohoj Org to promote World Peace. After some grub in the cafe at the top, we took the ''quick'' way down. Tons and tons and tons of steps back down to the shore of the lake where we got a row boat back across to our side. In retrospect, it was really good prep for our trek and was a good taste of what was to come. We also learnt we needed T shirts and other clothes that dried quickly, less jewellery, longer socks, more sunscreen and snakcs for the way! :D